A teenage student from Cumbria was bitten on the bottom by her dog as she screamed in delight at winning £7m on the EuroMillions lottery.
The lottery winner said her pet took a bite after being unsettled by her wild celebrations.
Ry Ter said, "You must be Delbighted".
Ry Ter
www.currantpuns.com
Should E = A or B? The Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs is meeting to discuss whether E (ecstacy) should be downgraded to Class B.
There were at least 40 deaths related to the drug last year - twice the total reported in 2000.
The Home Office has said ecstasy should stay in class A because there is no such thing as a "safe dose".
"A&E" says Ry Ter
www.currantpuns.co.uk
Prime Minister Gordon Brown said: "This deal is good value for the taxpayer and a significant step towards the construction of a new generation of nuclear stations to power the country."
EDF said plans for four new nuclear reactors were already in place, with the first to begin operating by the end of 2017.
Ry Ter said, "May I suggest building the first just outside Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, Gordon."
A court in the Indian capital Delhi has rejected a lawsuit filed by Hollywood company Warner Bros, makers of Harry potter, against the makers of a Bollywood film Hari Puttar. Warner bros said, the title of the Indian movie was too similar to theirs.
"Bollygood" says Ry Ter.
www.currantpuns.com
Archaeologists have pinpointed the construction of Stonehenge to 2300BC - a key step to discovering how and why the mysterious edifice was built.
"Stoneaged" says Ry Ter
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"It was amazing - the golf was spectacular on both sides and our guys came out on top," said Azinger.
"Fald'oh!" says Ry Ter
www.currantpuns.com
One of the latest gloomy headlines reports that '110,000 City jobs are to go' amid the market chaos. The collapse of Lehman Brothers. The last-ditch bailout of AIG. It's a mess.
"It's inmessment banking" says Ry Ter.
Or did he?
www.currantpuns.com
An auction of art works by Damien Hirst has smashed top estimates to bring in a record total of £70.5m ($125m), with still more works for sale.
Among the lots was *The Golden Calf - a bull in a tank of formaldehyde, with its head crowned by a gold disc - which sold for £9.2m ($16.5m).
The fourth-largest investment bank in the US, Lehman Brothers, has said it will file for bankruptcy protection, amid a growing global financial crisis – having incurred losses of billions of dollars in the US mortgage market.
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NHS dentists in England are said to be earning significantly more – since new contracts were introduced two years ago, official figures will suggest.
The British Dental Association said the figures - showing average annual incomes as up from £87,000 to £96,000 - did not accurately reflect reality.
The government said it would comment when the figures came out on Tuesday.
England's 4-1 win against Croatia was formidable.
Theo Walcott hit a hat-trick as England dominated their opponents and inflicted on them a first defeat in a competitive match at home.
"We played with confidence and no fear from the first minute.This is the start." Said Capello.
"Fourmidable." Said Ry Ter.
Apparently costs have risen in UK supermarkets and shops by 8.3%, since January (an index compiled for the BBC shows). Fresh fruit and vegetables, such as Cost lettuce, by 14.7%.
We could all grow our own tomatoes, if we had a summer that is!
Ry Ter
Today's breaking news. Today's opportunity for a pun.
A section in the Australian version of The Daring Book for Girls describes how to play the didgeridoo. This has angered some indigenous leaders who view the didgeridoo as a male instrument not to be played by women.
What about ginger dwarves?
Ry Ter
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