Caffeind

Men more responsive to caffeine

A strong cup of coffee has a greater effect on men than women, research shows...

"Caffeinds" syas Ry Ter.

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hellelujah

Hallelujah features three times in the top 40.

Cohen, who wrote it, made a new entry at 36.

The late Jeff Buckley is No.2

Burke's No.1

"Hellelujah!" says ry ter.

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Wheelie Great

Chris Hoy is 2008 BBC Sports Personality of the Year.

Having won three gold medals in Beijing, Mr Hoy beat Lewis Hamilton and Rebecca Adlington to the honour.

"To win this award this year is so special as British sport has enjoyed such a hugely successful year. It's been incredible," said Hoy.

"Wheelie good." Says ry Ter.

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privates beach only

Naturists' plea over nudist beach.

Naturists are calling on a Suffolk council to keep open one of Britain's first nudist beaches.
The British Naturism spokesman said, "We'd welcome any proposal to move the beach slightly further south but we do not want to lose a designated area."

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Baker's wife uses loaf

A baker became trapped in a lift at work for 13 hours and was only rescued thanks to the efforts of his wife.

"At yeast his wife made an effort to find him," quips Ry Ter.

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Stanstill Airport

Flights at Stansted airport have been delayed after more than 50 protesters occupied a secure area near the runway.

"Don't you mean, Stanstill airport?" questions Ry Ter.

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Wogone

After three decades, Sir Terry Wogan is stepping down as commentator on the Eurovision Song Contest .

Fellow Irishman Graham Norton will take over.

"WoGONE, NortON." Says ry ter

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Dudley Zoo's newd attraction

A group of zoo keepers at Dudley Zoo has stripped off for a naked calendar to help raise funds for a wildlife campaign.

"A newd attraction"

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Dubaious

The two Britons found guilty of having sex on a Dubai beach are to be deported without serving a sentence.

The couple denied having sex, saying they had simply been "kissing and hugging".

"Dubaious"

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Dam Kayakers

Extreme kayakers have been condemned for canoeing down a dam in west Wales.

"Dam Kayakers!" Says Ry Ter.

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Bee aware

Bee keepers fear for UK honey supplies.
Supplies are suffering because of a mite infestation that has killed off a quarter of the UK's honey bees this year.

"Bee aware, and stock your shelves."

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Down Thunder

Brisbane has been hit with the worst storms it has seen in 25 years.

"Down Thunder" says Ry Ter.

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Chip shape

A man from Sussex plans to cross the English Channel on a raft powered by chip fat.

"At first I thought he was a deep-fat liar. But no, it's true!" Says Ry Ter.

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Queue E too

The QE II sailed into the Hampshire port for her 726th and final visit to bid farewell to the city of Southampton.
"No longer will she have to queue E too in the crowded waters of the Solent again." Says Ry Ter.


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Commissionsnore of the Metropoliyawn Police

A man who would be involved in the search for the next Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police said the top job should go to someone "pretty boring".

"You could rename the position as Commissionsnore of Metropoliyawn Police" says Ry Ter

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McCain't

So, McCain lost the race. Obama won.
We all know this. However, do we know when they're gonna make da movie?

Ry Ter
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Winnie the Coup

An original sketch of Winnie the Pooh, featuring Tigger and Piglet, is expected to fetch £20,000 at auction.

"Here's my sketch of a pig let," says Ry Ter. "Start your bids at 20 pence"

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Lewis Hamilwon

At 23, Lewis Hamilton is the youngest driver to have won the Formula One world title.

"Lewis Hamilwon," says Ry Ter jubilantly

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Life is sweep

Apparently the rights to 'Sooty' sold for a million this year.

This week, a puppet used in the original 1950s BBC series fetched more than 10 times its estimated sale price at auction.

"Life is sweep," says Ry Ter

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The speed of Hound

The British team that holds the land speed record is planning to go even faster.

RAF pilot Andy Green intends to get behind the wheel of a car that is capable of reaching 1,000mph (1,610km/h). Known as Bloodhound, the new car will be powered by a rocket bolted to a Eurofighter-Typhoon jet engine.

"He'll be travelling at the speed of Hound," says Ry Ter.

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